samuraiprosecutor | 5: [Private; hackable with sufficient skill] The Pictures

I suppose I should be using this for its originally intended purpose. More and more I find myself ensnared in messes that I am...unable to discuss with my therapist. He would think me insane; I would almost doubt myself, if it weren't for the things I've seen, and the fact that Wright has seen them as well. But it leaves me to work through them on my own (as I've had to for over fifteen years).

Those disturbing pictures refuse to leave my mind. It's foolish... they mean nothing to me. They're fabrications, with no trace of the reality of the situation. I don't feel...

Well, to be truthful with myself, I don't know yet what I feel towards him. He's made it obvious he considers me a friend, but I can't say the same...not yet. Whatever we are, though, that has never been a thing I've wanted, and from his reaction I'd imagine the thought never crossed his mind, thank god.

He's too close as it is. He's made me trust him...and after von Karma...

The man was my compass for so long, the only one I had to answer to. I relied on him far too much...as he planned, I'm sure. My decisions depended so heavily on his opinions. I trusted him...

Wright hasn't been easy to trust. His opinion has...come to carry a great deal of weight in my thoughts. It worries me. And I'm not sure where we stand. He didn't mention the other pictures; I'm sure he doesn't have any idea that I saw them. He's embarrassed, perhaps...disgusted, maybe. He acted normally when we met at the zoo.

Why would people jump to such outlandish conclusions about the two of us? Even assuming my preferences were (for some unfathomable reason) brought up in whatever medium our lives are so casually and callously displayed on... I do not have relationships. Wright would not reciprocate, I would not be interested. These people are either grossly misinformed (which might explain the conflicting accounts), or reading into it things that aren't present.

We have that Zelos person to thank for this farce. I don't trust him, but that isn't surprising in the least. He seems a more subtle sort of danger, reckless and obnoxiously casual about an act he had no right to indulge in. An act in which the consequences fell entirely upon the heads of others, performed on a whim solely to garner some bizarre titillation.

Worse, the intent didn't seem malicious in any way. A person with good intentions will often destroy things more easily than one who actually sets out to do harm, and when it's done and you're left with rubble, even the bitterness of hatred is denied to you because they never meant to hurt you.

He knows more of me than he probably should, now. I'm still not sure why I haven't left this place.